November 13, 2026 / Jeff Mach's Writing

Terrible Responses To People Trying To Help You When You’re Down

Are you depressed, with people trying to cheer you up? (This NOT about any real humans, and I, Jeff, am not the narrator of the story.)

Here are a couple of particularly terrible habits you might adopt.

  1. Every time you say something bad, the other person counters with a bright point. You could lean into the bright point and try to see the bright side, which is clearly what they want. But you could also just shut the bright point down. Bonus points if you do it in a rude or terse fashion so as to discourage your friend;; “Nah, that would never work.”
  2. When people try to cheer you up, insist on talking about the things that depress you over and over. This will totally encourage them and definitely make them feel good.
  3. If someone tells you to smile, frown harder and tell them that SOME people have problems.
  4. When someone plays your favorite song on the jukebox, you tell them you don’t want to hear that song because it reminds you of all the good time you used to have but will never, ever have ever again forever.

  5. Every time someone offers a practical solution to your problem, wave it off and insist the situation is uniquely hopeless. “Yeah, that’s not gonna help. Nothing will.”

  6. When a friend points out that things could be worse, agree and then list three ways they are about to get worse anyway.

  7. If someone says “at least you’ve still got your health,” immediately start describing a minor ache you’ve had for years and treat it like a terminal diagnosis.

  8. Someone compliments something you made? Tell them you almost threw it away because it’s actually terrible and you only kept it so you wouldn’t have to make another one.

  9. When people suggest going outside because the weather is nice, explain that the nice weather just makes you more aware of how much you hate being outside and how soon it’ll be miserable again.

    And, of course…

  10. If anyone tries to end a conversation on a light note, drag it back to the worst part of the discussion and ask them to elaborate on it one more time before they leave. That will be good for you AND them.

    Won’t it?

    _____________________

You might enjoy “And The World Laughs With You“.

CategoriesJeff Mach's Writing

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He'd love for you to check out patreon.com/jeffmach for his favorite work (it's almost all free!) He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market and The Big Dark Lord Dwarf Novel. You can get his last novel, "I HATE YOUR Prophecy", or his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books of shortt fiction. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on X or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

Comments are closed.