Always Buy The Puck A Drink

Always buy the Puck a drink
Avoid Oberon
Do not at Titania wink
Until her consort’s gone.

Always buy the Puck a drink
Always toast the Moon
Kind words turn Peaseblossom pink
(She is inclined to swoon.)

Always buy the Puck a drink
Tell jokes to Mustardseed
Always live upon the brink
And smoke Hobbit-weed.

Always buy the Puck a drink
but please, my love, be wary
You might lie down in human lands
But then wake up in Faerie.


It occurs to me that in the past fortnight, I’ve written of Fairytale endings gone awry, being exiled from Faerieland, how Elves are jerks, and a certain admiration for Orcs. I suppose, at this point, you might ask, “Jeff, which Elves hurt you? It’s okay, you can tell me,” and I’d reply,

All of them, and they know what they did.”

But I loved them once; and while that love’s gone to vinegar and acid, I still remember happier times. And most of all, it’s hard to stay mad at Puck.

This was going to be an introduction to this piece, but I thought all this was rather heavy for a silly, wistful little poem. So I put it down here at the bottom.

I wrote a book. There’s a lot of philosophy, and a certain amount of bitter humor, and every damn word of it is true. It’s called “There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN: Diary of a Dark Lord”, and it lives over here on Amazon.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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