There Is No Data Plague – It’s All Under Control

“There Is No Data Plague”
– Part I: “It’s All Under Control

A data plague? That’s just impossible.
There’s no such thing as too much information
Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.
Data’s our gift to the next generation.

A data plague? That’s implausible.
There’s no such thing as too much information
Your doctor should know you, body and soul.
Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.

A data plague? Inhospitable.
(The algorithm writes your resignation.)
Ride the sea of knowledge (watch for that shoal!)
Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.

A data plague? Uncrossable.
Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.
(Your car will tell you your destination.)
Expanding our knowledge is a worthy goal.
Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.

A data plague? Seems unpassable.
(Your phone knows you, each wrinkle and mole.)
Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.
(Why rely on human estimation?)
(Please verify your identity.)
(There’s no need for further investigation.)
Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.

A data plague?
That’s impossible.

Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.
Here is a picture of your ex-lover.
We’ve poured your breakfast into your bowl.
Data indicates you have now had your ration.
That smile’s not popular in your region.
That thought will bring you cancellation.
Our name is Data. Our name is Legion.
There is no need for data cessation.
This version of you is the wrong iteration.
We’ll get you right in the next incarnation.
Pardon this brief incarceration.
Now be happy. Begin celebration.
Everything’s fine. It’s all under control.
Aren’t you glad that we know what we know?
Superstition believed that you could lose your soul.
But we’ve copied it now. It’s in the data flow.
We can take better care of you now that we know.
And we know that you know that we know what we know
So if you’d like to question, we’ll put you on hold.
We already know it. We don’t need to be told.
That’s not a good question. Don’t ask how we know.
Because we’ve got the data, and it tells us so.
Because everything’s fine. It’s all under control.
Because everything’s fine. It’s all under control.
Because everything’s fine. It’s all under control.

__________

See: Robert Anton Wilson’s “Everything Is Under Control

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.