Lizard Man – More Dungeon Doggerel

If you’d like to do all the things a Lizard-Man can,
Then you might want to be a Lizard-Man.
And, since I’m a Lizard-stan,
I think you should be a Lizard-Man.

Now, by Lizard-Man, let’s note
Cryptids don’t (this time) get a vote
We mean the Dungeons and Dragons beast,
For whom ‘conspiracy’ is the least.

If we speak at all of Hollow Earth,
I’ve avoided conspiracies from birth
(Since, when all is said and done,
We all know I’m the Chosen One.
But I digress.)

Lizard-men do sometimes mate.
If you’re curious how they rate?
My sister dated one for years.
She said, “Think flat, lukewarm beers.”

The tails ain’t bad. The swing quite well.
They’re not Demons. They’re not fell.
Breathe no fire. Seldom revel.
And most of their Shamans are second-level.

Lizard-men: they’re sort of boring.
But there’s few monster’s we’re ignoring.
So the next time a Lizard Man tribe comes at you:
Just point out: “You’re too boring for me to combat you.”

I’d love it if you joined patreon.com/thatjeffmach, even at the free level.