In World War I, the aerial fighters
Were plagued by little green-skinned blighters
Of the enemy, they’d no fears…
…but there were Gremlins in the gears.
Whence come Gremlins? Who can say?
From Somewhere Else; but here they stay
Some realm of primordial weird
Where nothing was as it appeared?
Who wants those green and ugly imps?
Process-breakers, fashion-crimps
Ugly, loony, mischief-makers
Funnier than poison bakers
Some land of inky, starless skies
Might be where Gremlins did arise.
We know not. Those trickster imps
Gnaw Reality’s leg until it limps.
They disappeared, or so we thought.
At least, thy were never caught.
We’ll never know quite who conspired
To get all of the bastards wired.
Not content to be the bane of Nations
They’ve snuck into our telecommunications
It seems surprising. And yet, and yet
Of course they’re in the Internet.
No human being, cunning or foolish
Could have an appetite so ghoulish
For lies and lies and lies again
They’ve been in there since Gods know when.
This is why your news won’t work
Why each opponent’s a proven jerk
No shades of grey or other hues;
Gremlins make us feel the blues.
Who do you think invented spam?
It was Gremlins, on the lam
Our media’s broken. Who’s to blame?
“Gremlin” is the only name.
Once they crashed the planes of heroes
Now they invade our ones and zeroes
Once they fought in times of War
But they are Evil at their core.
What delight for those green things
To bring down fools, poets, and kings
To be weirdly specific and oddly vague;
The architects of The Data Plague.
We need the Web. We’re interconnected
So why are so many things rejected?
Blame the mob. Blame the censors.
Blame the Gremlins’ cruel adventures.
It’s terrifying to be aware
That when you log in, they’ll be there.
But there’s a certain comfort, friend
For while their damage is beyond mend
They can be killed. We have the tech
Before the entire Web they wreck
Cowards, disperse! Strength to the front!
And if you see a Gremlin—
Quickly!
PUNT!
________
You might enjoy the well-made warlock — Jeff Mach Writes
Or our free book – A Goblincore Guide To Life!
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