Even Dragons need pickup lines sometimes.
“If our mountain were to collapse and I could only save one thing from the hoard, I’d grab you first… then maybe the really shiny ingots, but definitely you second, and only because the ingots don’t bite back when you cuddle them.”
“You must be a red dragon because one look at you and my entire circulatory system is running at volcanic temperatures and I’m suddenly very okay with spontaneous combustion.”
“They say diamonds are forever, but I’ve got a better offer: come back to my lair, help me count the gold, and I’ll let you keep anything you can carry… plus me, if you’re into that sort of thing.”
“I don’t do ‘romance.’ I do ‘strategic alliances sealed with fire and questionable life choices.’ Interested in forging something permanent and slightly apocalyptic?”
“Are you a virgin sacrifice? Because I’ve already cleared a spot on the altar and I’m willing to skip the roasting part if you promise to stay the night.”
“Your scales are shinier than any treasure I’ve ever stolen, and I’ve stolen quite a lot. Mind if I get a closer look? Preferably while horizontal and breathing heavily?”
“I would burn three kingdoms to ash for you. Of course I’d burn three kingdoms anyway, but I’d do it slower and more dramatically if you were watching.”
“Most dragons hoard gold. I hoard grudges and really attractive people who make bad decisions. Congratulations—you just made the top of both lists.”
“If I told you that you were the most beautiful thing I’ve seen since the last time I set a city on fire, would you believe me, or should I demonstrate?”
“My heart is cold, ancient, and mostly made of obsidian, but you’ve got the kind of heat that could melt it into something embarrassingly squishy. Want to try?”
“You’re finer than the finest adamantite, hotter than dragonfire, and you smell better than a dwarven forge on payday. I’d trade my entire wingspan just to see what you look like without the armor.”
“Let’s skip the whole ‘maiden in distress’ routine. I already ate the last knight who tried that. How about we go terrorize a village together and then compare notes over something roasted?”
“I may be immortal, but one smile from you and I’m suddenly very aware that eternity is a long time to spend alone in a cave full of gold that can’t kiss back.”
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