If I were to decide to raise a toast
To every absent friend
I’d toast and toast and drink and drink,
Forever, without end.
(I jest, of course. In honesty,
I’d not have a single shot.
For absent, they are, quite certainly;
But friends? No, they were not.)
I’d say that I have loved and lost,
as the expression goes.
It’s true I have lost some love,
but I’ve gained a host of foes.
They ate my time and energy
(How very impolite!)
But finally they left, and now,
at last,
I’ve time to write.
I treasure much the gifts of those
Who gave me a Villain’s name
And took away so many fears,
And so much hurt, and shame.
If I’ve become a thing of Myth,
A monster Herculean,
It’s because I’ve escaped the box
Those bastards all put me in.
I’d be ashamed if even a tenth
Of what they said was truth
But they erased my actual life,
and rewrote my entire youth.
So I come to you a Monster born,
And each day I commit
More crimes than could ever be
Counted, named, or writ.
Each night I sleep, I secretly
Enact a thousand sins;
Each day I lead a Villain’s life
Where no-one ever wins.
And if these horrors in no way
Relate to anything I’ve done,
If what’s real doesn’t matter,
If truth will please no-one,
Then to Villainy I’ll soar!
Because, at last, I’m freed.
So come here close, and I’ll make up
A stream of dirty deeds.
They’ve pushed me into a fairytale,
And made me the Evil Queen,
And since I’ve read that tale before,
I’ve hatched a plot unseen.
With my Magic Mirror, I’ve made friends,
With the plucky heroes? A truce.
My curses and enchantments dark
Have found a better use.
For I’ll wrap words on top of words,
And spit out tales tenfold,
And change the World, a little bit,
With writings strange and bold.
So gather to me, Villains!
As our banner high we raise.
Let fools call you a Monster;
Who could ask for better praise?
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.
