What To Do If You Find Yourself Possessing A Human

There you are, floating along on the ethereal winds, shifting ‘twixt this world and that, slipping in and out of shadows, disruption the occasional combustion engine, stealing a sock or two, mailing a letter and getting a quart of dinosaur eggs and a dozen hunks of solidified milk, when all of a sudden, you find yourself ripped out of your comfortable everyday and jammed deep down in the body of some weird, corporeal, physical creature, something with only two eyes and a tiny soul, a clumsy, awkward, material creature that’s screaming its damnfool head off.

You look around, and you see some Tarot cards, an Ouija board (ahhh, hell), and even one of those cheap knock-offs of the Necronomicon, the one that’s all half-remembered Babylonian summoning spells. 

And you realize: Oh, no. I’ve possessed somebody.

WHAT TO DO

    1. DON’T PANIC. We aren’t going to sugarcoat it: Yes, this is bad. Humans are pretty much everything you’ve heard they are: awkward, quick to anger, and very likely to do something stupid. And yes: the majority of them are small-minded and hold on to their psyches by brute force, physically hammering at their mental/emotional insides just to keep those things inline. And now, you’re inside. It’s not good. But if you just hang on, and don’t lose your own emotional core, you’re going to be okay.
    2. SEE IF YOU CAN CONTACT YOUR CAPTOR. We know: This ignorant bundle of weird emotions is the last being you want to talk to right now. But it might be the right thing to do. You might, just might, be able to reason with it, even convince it to do a quick banishing ritual. You’ll probably have to show it how; although they’re sometimes able to call us up, the’re pretty clueless about everything else, including getting us home. Damned inconsiderate; but what can you do?
    3. CHECK TO SEE IF YOU’RE ALONE. Hopefully, you’re alone. With any luck at all, you’re alone. Mutter a silent prayer to whichever Power you favor this week that you are alone. And if you think you’re not…take a deep breath (this body will probably need it anyway) and go on to Step 4.
    4. IF YOUR HOST IS PANICKING, YOU NEED TO TAKE IMMEDIATE ACTION. We of the spirit world try not to have much commerce with material beings. It seldom turns out really well for us. Or for them, for that matter. But if your captor isn’t taking this well, then you’ve got trouble.Because this is when your captor is very likely to try something horrible, and blame YOU for it.

It’s not one of the more pleasant facts of our existences. But it’s undeniable. If the thing you inhabit is inclined towards any one of a vast host (pardon the expression) of deeply unpleasant human emotions, then it might use your presence as its excuse to finally take some kind of horrifying action.

We know how unspeakable it is to snuff out a soul. They claim it’s terrible, but the moment they get the tiniest excuse, it’s their immediate go-to. “A Demon made me do it!” What? No! We’re just trying to go back to our own business. We just want out.

And it’s not like this does them any good. Mortal authorities, these days, do not accept demonic possession as any sort of legal protection. And religious authorities…well, let’s just say that they don’t like us any more now than they ever have.

So whatever you do, try to make sure your imprisoner isn’t anywhere near another human being, and if it is, get as much power of limbs as you can, and, though it’s really difficult, try to run.

Because otherwise, your host body might straight-up commit some unspeakable bloody unnatural homicidal act and blame it on you.

The blame’s not so bad. Nobody will believe them; and if they do, they just might call upon an exorcist who can get you the hell out of there.

The real problem is just whatever the hell they’re actually going to do. Because you’re going to have to watch.

Why do humans behave this way? Why do humans, given the slightest opportunity to say that something isn’t their fault, blame the occult immediately?

It’s not even because humans are inherently murderous creatures. But they have imaginations, such imaginations, such suggestible imaginations.

And film, movies, books, games, media of all sorts have been telling them for years: If you get possessed, you’re going to murder somebody.

They figure: This is what’s going to happen.

They figure: I have no choice.

They start thinking: “Wait, do I feel murdery? Do I feel..a little bit murdery? Somewhere. Maybe in my left toe…my left toe definitely feels weird….what if there’s murder in my left toe..WAIT…I think I can feel it in the whole foot! Or maybe the foot’s just gone to sleep…NO! It must be..murder. It’s creeping up my leg! It’s stealing into my chest! I CANNOT HELP IT, I AM THE SLAVE OF THIS UNSPEAKABLE ENTITY, AND NOW I MUST LAY WASTE TO ALL THOSE AROUND ME!”

The whole time, of course, you are watching this in complete and utter horror and screaming, “No! NO! I have absolutely ZERO desire for this! Just get me OUT of here!”

Unfortunately, their OWN screaming will drown you out. Completely.

Eventually, you’ll escape. But not until you’ve seen Things that you never, ever deserved to have to watch.

And it’s just so damn awful.

When you do make it back to the Unlit Lands, we wouldn’t blame you if you pour yourself a stiff drink.

Then seek counselling and plenty of therapy.

You’re not responsible for what that human did. You really aren’t. We’re astral beings; we don’t really understand how being embodied works. Getting the mechanisms to move well is really hard for us. The human has had a whole lifetime controlling the body, and its wants and actions are going to just take precedence; it’s unfortunate, but it’s true.

There’s just not a whole lot you can do when you’re trapped inside of a creature which is certain the worst is going to happen, and believes it so strongly that it makes that belief real the first time it has the opportunity.

Call your local Possession Recovery Hotline. We know things feel hopeless now, but you can rise above your situation, put the pain behind you, and go on with your life.

You’re not human, after all.

~Jeff Mach


 

My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.

I write books. You should read them!

 

 

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.