Dungeon Doggerell, Like Certain Streets In Skara Brae, Is Actually Endless

The Dracolich
I will admit that the Dracolich
Makes this undead sorcerer twitch
Not from fear. Not intimidation
Just pure jealousy and frustration.
Human Liches, with few exceptions
Greet endless life with poor receptions
We’re week and fumble and very ancient
We’ve grown very old while being very patient
Dracoliches, damn their eyes
Are still strong, and of great size
They have forever to gain sorcerous power
It makes me want to pout and glower.
…they have terrible breath, though,
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Giant of Frost
Look, I wish to nibble a Giant of Frost
And I care not about the cost
For one thing, they once held me in slavery
For another thing, they’re like popsicles….but really savory.
Gargoyle
Sometimes you eat the monster
Sometimes the monster eats you.
Here’s a hint about the Gargoyle:
They are absolutely horrible to boil.
Should you butcher a gargoyle
Soak none of it in any oil
The only way to get any flavor that isn’t hated
To make sure it’s thoroughly marinated.

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Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He'd love for you to check out patreon.com/jeffmach for his favorite work (it's almost all free!) He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market and The Big Dark Lord Dwarf Novel. You can get his last novel, "I HATE YOUR Prophecy", or his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books of shortt fiction. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on X or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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