I felt a bit like a rube or a townie
The first time someone told me about a ‘Brownie’.
I’m familiar Gnomes and Hobbits and Ents
But when you say “Brownie”, I don’t think what you meant.
In the Underdark, they’ve the courtesy
To adopt a weird name, or three.
They’re not the brownies you buy at Wegmens;
These are a kind of sverfeneglyn.
They’re tiny, friendly, Lawful Good mites;
They’re related (also!) to pixies and sprites.
They’re terribly short, if I recall;
None of them play pro basketball.
They’re generally lawfully good
Which irritates me rather more than it should;
The Dark Lord won’t give them significant lovin’
She prefers her brownies in an oven.
(Do we mean the creatures, or bakery treats?
Either, as long as they’re made of meat.)
You could be beef, you may be saurian;
The Dark Lord’s aggressively carnivorian.
Brownie meat is chocolate sweet
And the cooking is simple and neat.
(But if you want food to go with corn on the cob, it
Would behoove you to start eating Hobbit.)
_____
“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― There and Never, Ever Back Again
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