The Princess said, “Daddy, I want a pony.”
The King obligingly got her an Oni.
The Princess said, “Daddy, it wants to marry!”
The King gave it all the gold it could carry.
* * *
Date a Bakemono?
That’s a no-no.
I don’t care how good they are with the tongue;
Don’t date anyone who eats their young.
That’s a no-no.
I don’t care how good they are with the tongue;
Don’t date anyone who eats their young.
* * *
If you look at Tiamat
And your response is, “I’d hit that,”
And your response is, “I’d hit that,”
I recommend consulting a tribe of Psychiatric Wizards
To work on your attraction to Lizards.
* * *
The Green Knight told mighty Gawain,
“I’ll tell you once, and won’t say it again;
We must battle nude!”
Gawain said, “Dude,
I’m only here for the cocaine.”
* * *
The gigantic dragon Bahamut
Is very Lawful Good, but but–
I’ll tell you this (I’ll tell you what)
You don’t want to be there when he busts a nut.
* * *
Morgan LeFay
Is kinda gay
For Nimue
(or so they say.)
Is kinda gay
For Nimue
(or so they say.)
* * *
Kobolds build quite clever traps
But you’ll want to avoid the one who raps.
Even though his music slaps,
Halfway through, he usually naps.
Halfway through, he usually naps.
* * *
If you smooch a Pteranodon,
I’ll have to ask what drugs you’re on.
And in making love, you’ll get low rating
(Unless you’re good at aerial mating.)
I’ll have to ask what drugs you’re on.
And in making love, you’ll get low rating
(Unless you’re good at aerial mating.)
* * *
The Arkan sonney is a marvelous pig,
So watch the path you’ve taken.
It’s a Faerie creature with Faerie friends
Don’t treat it like bacon.
__
“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― There and Never, Ever Back Again
You could go here to join my mailing list.
You could find more of my books and other work here on Amazon.
