Dwarven pickup lines? Do you have ANY idea how many Dwarven bars we had to sit around in order to get these?
It was probably worth the hangover, except every time we laugh, our heads fall off..
Here’s the original Pickup Lines For Dwarves. Or try Pickup Lines For Hobbits. Or even Pickup Lines for Elves.
“Had the greatest Dwarven craftsmen been captured by Loki and forced to labor for a year and a day to create the perfect Dwarf woman, by the Gods, you would be a very, very close second!”
“Lass, if I carved your name into the deepest vein of mithril in all the Nine Mountains, it would still not shine half so bright as your eyes. Also, I would probably be arrested for defacing royal property, and I would deserve it, but we’re very long-lived; perhaps you’d wait for me?”
“You are like finding the motherlode in a tectonic cave after being stuck there for two weeks: I’m really excited, but I’m also starving to death. Might you still be here in three days when I get back?”
“I would face a Balrog for you. I would then be dead and you would have my wealth. Will you marry me?”
“By the Gods of the darkest, deepest mines, is that the motherlode in your eyes, or am I merely in love?”
“Do you feel all kinds of “YOU SHALL NOT PASS” about me, or shall I walk by again?:
“I have brought thee a flagon of beer the size of thy head. I apologize for the meagerness of my offering, but this bar has terrible priorities.”
“Are you a cave troll? Because I feel like letting you club me over the head and take my gold.”
“If I told you that you had a beautiful axe, would you attempt to split my helmet with it?”
“I shall make thou burn with lust like the fires which forged Tyrfing.”
“Admit it. You’ve always wanted to have a drink with the 7th-most-tossable Dwarf and eligible bachelor in all of the Mines of Moria except the parts that are technically on fire.”
“How about you and I swig some ale and sing about gold for six hours and if, for some reason, we get tired of that, which I admit is not likely, perhaps we could swoggle.”
“Would you like to go mine delving? I swear this is not a metaphor. I know an excellent mine.”
“I invented a drink which is the equivalent of being hit in the head with a hammer, but, I promise you, it’s absolutely a well-balanced hammer. Alternately, we could just hit each other with hammers. I’m flexible”
“I’ve got the key to the Dark Lord’s Dungeon. There’s no treasure and no dungeon equipment, but it’s a very, very nice key, isn’t it? Would you like to go somewhere well-lit and admire the workmanship?”
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