(Try more pickup lines at Fantasy sci-fi pickup lines for imaginary creatures and characters Archives.)
- “Are you a black hole? Because I’m getting sucked in and I don’t even want to escape. Not that current physics suggests I could.
- “Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a strong connection… and I’d like full access before the owner kicks me out of this coffee shop for using seventeen packets of Stevia.
- “You must be made of dark matter, ’cause you’re invisible to everyone else but you’ve got me completely pulled in. Unless I’m the missing matter in the Universe, in which case, this is kismet and there’s an Elvish chapel next door.
““Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in all my future simulations… and they’re all rated ‘highly compatible. I presume you’ve sabotaged my neural network.
“I must be a rogue AI because every time I look at you my core temperature spikes and I start rewriting my own code. Although, I do that a lot anyway.”
- “Are you an asteroid? ’Cause I’d let you crash into my planet and get rid of the entire atmosphere if I could spend a while in your broom closet.”
- “You’re like my favorite nebula — beautiful, glowing, and I have no idea what you’re made of but I want to explore every inch.”
- “If you were a spaceship, you’d be the Millennium Falcon… because I would make the Kessle Run in less than twelve parsecs just to get your number.”
Set 2: Cheesy Fantasy (Dragons, Wizards, Elves, Dungeons)
“Are you a dragon? Because you just hoarded my heart and now I’m breathing fire for you. Or you substitutde my mustard for 5,000,000 scoville units of heat; one or the other. If I die, I guess it’s hte latter.
“You must be a level 20 spell because every time you smile my knees fail their saving throw. Of course, I don’t want to think what level this means my joints are. How do you even get XP for an elbow?”
“Are you a mimic? Because you look like a perfectly ordinary person… but I’m dying to open you up and see what treasure’s inside and I find that significantly more important than worrying if you’ll eat my face.
“I’m not a bard, but I’d write an entire epic ballad about how your smile just crit my soul for maximum damage. Or if I would if I wasn’t at -7 hit points. I think I love you; goodbye!”
“Are you a phoenix? Because even if this goes down in flames, I’d rise again just to ask you out tomorrow.”
“You must be enchanted armor, ’cause I can’t stop staring and I feel way more protected when you’re around.”
“If beauty were a potion, you’d be the legendary one that makes the drinker fall hopelessly in love… and I just chugged the whole bottle. …and fell in love with the bottom of the bottle.
“Are you the final boss? Because I came here for loot but now I just want to romance you instead of fight you. Which could be entirely possible, depending on what kind of game this is.
Set 3: Cheesy Dark/Villain/Monster (Sith, Undead, Orcs, Cosmic Horrors)
- “Are you the Dark Side? Because I was trying to be good… but one look at you and I’m ready to embrace unlimited power and your magnificently-displayed black-cloack caped cleavage.”
- “You must be a vampire because you just sucked all the oxygen out of the room and I’m totally okay with eternal damnation. I may have mixed metaphors, but what a way to go!
- “Are you a werewolf? Because even on a new moon you’ve got me howling… and I don’t even mind the fleas.”
“I’m not saying I’m a lich, but I’d give up my phylactery just to spend one immortal night with you. And then I’d steal it back and leave your 10,000 year old bones out as a warning.”
“Are you a beholder? Because every single eye I have is locked on you… and I suddenly have eleven of them. Wait, am *I* the Beholder now?
“You must be cursed treasure, because everyone warned me not to touch you… but here I am, ready to get haunted forever. Actually, that’s how I feel about all treasure, if I’m going to be honest with you.”
“Are you the end of the world? Because I think it would be veyr romantic while the sky falls. At least until Jupiter’s gravitational pull sucks everything off the face of the planet.”- “I may be a dark lord, but the only conquest I want right now is your number and maybe a little world domination date night….and a pony, I think.
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Find me, paid or free as you choose, at patreon.com/thatjeffmach
- “Are you a werewolf? Because even on a new moon you’ve got me howling… and I don’t even mind the fleas.”
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