Bugbears have many positive traits
For example, they’re not giant slugs.
They’ll infrequently make it into your home
And might not leave a mess on your rugs.
Bugbears have the sort of breath
Which is merely quite unpleasant
And if your bugbear grumps about
Just feed her a peasant.
* * *
The Giant Butterwart
Will happily eat an excess guest.
Do I like my plants decorous, or functional?
I find “carnivorous” is best.
* * *
Berserker
“Berserker? I hardly know ‘er!”
Those words I boldly spoke
The seven hundred stab wounds I suffered immediately thereafter
Remind me that Berserkers can’t take a joke.
* * *
The Cats of Ulthar do strange behaviors show
Don’t ask them why.
You’d rather not know.
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.
I write books. You should read them!
