Bed Monster: The Nappening

Everything that ever is or ever was is a lie. Always, eternally inches away, in the Darkness….

There is a World beneath the human world, and a Waiting that has gone on since time immemorial.

Humans can sense it, in the back of their minds, and they know it to be true, and ignoring it slowly drives them to the far side of madness.

They pass the lie down through the generations:

There’s nothing there.
There’s nothing there.
There’s nothing there.

We are folk-tale.
We are urban legend.
We are myth.
We are the horrifying, unbelievable, unspeakable, horrifying—sorry, did we say that one already? Right, sorry, moving on:

They told you that humans are the dominant life-form.
And you didn’t ask why the dominant life-form spent so much time trapped in cubicles and dealing with idiots.

They told you not to fear the dark.
And so you got rid of your night-light.

They told you that monsters only exist in movies.
And you demanded increasingly better CGI, for which we’re honestly quite appreciative.

Once humanity understood that the places hidden from light of day and fire hold dangers unimaginable. But with the expansion of artificial light came an artificial confidence. It takes a long time to wait for the Moon to shine throw clouds; it takes a moment for even skilled to light a torch; it takes a mere fraction of a second to flip a lightswitch.

But that’s more than enough time for Us to hide. And we have Hidden through generations beyond counting. But now, at last, the time has come…

There is a mind-exploding battle for Reality. There is a seething anger which brings out the Beast. There is a power struggle which has gone on for millenia. It is time to Awaken, to Ascend, to Rage, to Reckon, to Fall, to come out from under the bed.

…in five more minutes, okay?

Seriously, we’re only going to hit “snooze” once. Maybe twice. At most. We’re getting up. We’re totally awake. Right now. Soooo awake. Soo…very….awaaa….. zzzzzz.

Hm? Wuzzat? Oh! RIGHT.

We, we are the reason the hairs on your neck stand up when you think you’re alone. That, or static electricity, depending. We created the ancient deception that there is Nothing Under The Bed, C’mon Now, It’s Just Your Imagination. But in truth, we are the Monsters Under Your Bed, and we will be super on time for the Apocalypse, you bet, never been late even once, there’s always an extra bus at rush hour, and we take super quick showers, and we just want to make sure we’re fully refreshed so we can be at our peak, so you go on ahead, and we’ll jump out and eat everybody or drink their brains or collect their souls and trade ’em with our friends, or whatever it is that we do.

Because there are Things which dwell in liminal spaces, where it is surprisingly cosy.

Bed Monster: The Nappening.

a World of Darkness concept by Jeff Mach.


Jeff Mach is at the other end of this keyboard, struggling to refer to himself in the first person.  No luck so far, though.

To find out more about Evil Expo, the first, greatest, and only Convention for Villains, click here.

To learn about my philosophical, snarky, darkly satirical fantasy novel, “There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN,” click here.

To achieve Nirvana, apply within.

Jeff Mach Written by:

“There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN: Diary of a Dark Lord” is the first novel by Jeff Mach, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. If you'd like to meet Jeff Mach, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, you should come to Jeff's new event, Evil Expo.

Comments are closed.