A Day in Villainpunk Life


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We interrupt tonight’s news to bring you a breaking update. Although most news seems to be about things breaking, doesn’t it? It’s as if it isn’t news if everything is shiny and well-designed.


It appears that Doctor Doom has taken over this very television station, or mostly, and laid bare our minds to his total mind control, or mostly,


His telepathic powers are awesome,

But he does have a tendency to digress.

It’s very useful in his improv classes,

And he’s hoping to do a local open mic night in the near future—

Sorry, apparently some of those

Were inside-thoughts,


Not broadcast brainwaves.

At this distance, it’s hard to tell,


But the point is that he now controls this station,

And soon he will have some Hot Pockets,



I mean,

Soon he will take over your mind as well,


For example, I, myself, am not exactly completely unable to stop myself from saying these things out loud,

But in my defense, they ARE newsworthy,

And the telepathic powers at work are of excellent quality,


And now I want a Hot Pocket.


Do we have any Hot Pockets?


….apparently, I’m not the only one under telepathic compulsion here,

There’s a hot pocket riot near the vending machine;


Whoever owns this machine will be rich,

If we don’t tear the machine,

Or each other,

To bits.


At any rate,

Dr. Doom has decided to spend a little time

On a remote mountain

Improving his technique

Before he comes back to take over everything.


Fear him,

For he shall stay there, focusing the awesome powers

Of his parietal lobe

And doing nothing but testing his brain

And eating all of the hot pockets

Which he just stole

From the machine

Without even paying for them,

The jerk.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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