Dearest friends:
I was thinking of telling the truth about why I’ve been absent. But it’s quite complicated and rather difficult to believe.
So I thought, hell…what if, instead, I made it as IMPOSSIBLE to believe as possible?
I have been captured by agents of Thoth and imprisoned in the Great Pyramid. Granted, that’s rather slanderous towards Thoth, who is a scholarly type who not only relatively seldom goes around capturing people, but more importantly, wouldn’t want to disturb the Great Pyramid.
But it’s not like I, personally, was leading an expedition into the Hollow Earth to find Lemuria when we were captured by Atlanteans, who imprisoned us…
….all right. First, they tasted us. We’re all missing a toe or two. But we owe our having been non-cannibalized to clean, modern living:
“Good grief, these things are FULL of sugar, fats, and preservatives. We can’t ingest them. They would make us impure, and also give us hellish indigestion.”‘
Rather humiliating, really. No mind probe. No ANY probe. No revelation of the Secrets of the Universe, no plans for conquest.
The entire encounter came to:
“We’ve never met a species that is truly part flesh and part junk food, and we appreciate your uniqueness and are putting it in this giant cosmic box for the next five thousand years.
“Let us know how that works out, okay?”
And that’s why I haven’t been around.
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Hi! I’m Jeff Mach, author and other things. Please do poke around the blog.
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