Historically, Master Plans make relatively little sense. They’re not automatically wrong, just what we’d call ‘ moves with a historically bad track record’.
Let’s say you’re reliable. Which is uncertain, given that you’re very probably a mad genius, and while they’re very, very innovative, not all made geniuses are practical about, say, what month it is. But let’s say you’re reliable.
The Master Plan puts too many eggs in one basket. Why?
Why have some massive idea that will be unready up until a single dramatic moment?
I get it. You want to make The Speech. We all want to make The Speech.
Just like many of us wear capes. Lest we forget Captain Lingerie, who made a fortune selling capes that fitted on the INSIDE of your clothing, so you could look like a normal, everyday, nine-to-five villain, but BE a caped supervillain where it counts, on the inside. We ALL want to make THE SPEECH!
…from beginning to end, though, right? That part’s important, surely?
Because historically, 99.5% of all Villains make The Speech about 1/3rd to 5/6ths of the way through, and then get shot, eaten, captured, captured and eaten, captured and shot…at any rate, the outcomes aren’t good.
Just don’t do it.
Have you ever considered that you might succeed against a number of idiots in a few well-chosen gambits and, like Blofeld, go to Argentina for some good food and a good think? (Unless you’re fleeing Argentina, in which case, I’d say: Tokyo. Definitely Tokyo,)
Don’t go with The Master Plan. You spend years of your life on it, and then, at the last second, there’s some stupid mis-step or lucky Hero who manages to get in the way.
It breaks your heart.
Hell, it’ll break OUR hearts.
(This has been a message from the International Villain Council on Safety For Monsters)
p.s. Get OUT of that damn closet, they KNOW you’re in there!
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Amazon.com: Jeff Mach: books, biography, latest update
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