Pickup Lines For Mad Scientists

“For every mad scientist who’s had a convenient thunderstorm just on the night his Great Work is finished and lying on the slab, there have been dozens who’ve sat around aimlessly under the peaceful stars while Igor clocks up the overtime.”
 -Sir Terry Pratchett

“Care to help me test my latest invention? It’s called ‘mutual attraction’ and the safe word is ‘lightning.’”  

“I’ve engineered viruses, built death rays, and created AI that roasts me daily — but nothing has ever destabilized my heart like you just did.”  

“You must be my latest experiment, because I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I want to make you really annoyed in the name of science.”  

“I’m not saying I’m a mad scientist, but I did just invent a device that makes clothes disappear. Care to help me test it?”  

“They call me mad. I would disagree, but they may have a point. Buy you a drink?”

___________

www.patreon.com/thatjeffmach has lots of free content.

You can also pick up my books and audiobooks under “Jeff Mach” on Amazon and Audible.

 

“Want to come back to my lab? I promise the restraints are for science… and also because you’d look incredible in them.”  

 

 

 

“Fuck the multiverse. I only want the timeline where you’re bent over my workbench moaning my name.”  

 

“I’m like Elon Musk but hotter, crazier, and actually good in bed. Want to help me colonize something that isn’t Mars?” 

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He'd love for you to check out patreon.com/jeffmach for his favorite work (it's almost all free!) He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market and The Big Dark Lord Dwarf Novel. You can get his last novel, "I HATE YOUR Prophecy", or his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books of shortt fiction. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on X or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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