It’s ALWAYS National Punch A Bard Day.
We are Adventurers, daring and bold.
We’ll come from the adventure dead or full of gold.
And thus, as comrades, fair is fair:
Everyone gets an equal share…
…including the damnable Bard.
Though nothing the momzer does is hard,
We give a share of treasure to the Bard.
I’d like to see him by a Dragon munched –
But I’ll settle for seeing him get punched.
Say! The Mage is frail and much at risk
And with spells she must be brisk
From blessings to balls of flame a-roast
She must be versatile, or she’s toast.
There are certain situations
Which can only be matched by conjuration.
Without her muchly-hoarded craft
We’d collapse like an uninflated raft.
When we’re in need, her magic like a mighty bell rings –
and the Bard just sings.
The Warrior stands in the very front
And of every attack takes the mightiest brunt
Receiving wounds grievous and rough
Yet lifting his sword, he never cries “Enough!”
Without our tank, we’d be cattle
Probably wouldn’t survive a battle
But through his might, we win like kings –
and the Bard just sings.
We were told, acquiring the Thief
That we were heading towards dishonesty and grief.
But the Thief doesn’t steal from US
(We’d slice her into asparagus.)
But she picks locks. She backstabs bosses.
She disarms traps and reduces our losses.
The Thief does a dozen useful things –
And the fricking bard just sings.
Oh, sure, the Bard’s songs do enchant
He’s not without skills or magical cant
I’m sure practicing your lute is hard.
Must be tough to be a Bard.
It’s not that they’re wholly without use
But for Adventurers, they’re a poor excuse
So today, you draw the lucky card:
Get out there and punch a Bard!
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Feel free to check out The Odditorium Carnival or Catskills Halloween if you live in the Northeastern Us!
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