you should talk to your internet provider about that mimic problem

In Dungeons dark and dangerous,
Living by the sword,
Sometimes, seeking treasure
DEATH is your reward!

For Mimics lurk, and lurk, and lurk
In the form of treasure chests
(Which is why a Thief of wisdom
In the Undertaker invests.)

Yet even this, though weird and cold
And disturbingly quite fatal
Is not the monster which makes me curl
Into a ball most natal.

Now as you know, the ‘Net’s all true;
That’s quite apodeictic
THE SOCIAL MEDIA MIMIC lurks
In rhythms algorithmic!

It’s true! Know fear! For their you are
Just healthfully a-scrolling
Never knowing that there lurks
An entity controlling.

This malignant creature waits
For some unhappy Bard
To click its link or (even worse)
To share it really hard.

AND THEN IT STRIKES!
And, worse than death,
It eats the entire brain
Replacing it with its control
Grain by grain by grain.

Then it posts insanity,
And thinks both vile and cruel
It uses words to love your pain,
A cruel teacher’s ferule.

So it is! So it must be!
…so, at least, I hope
For if I am most incorrect,
I’ll heave a tortured “NOPE!!!!”

…I mean, that’s why the Internet
Is filled with madness sheer
Such quality misinformation
Can’t simply just ‘appear’.

It’s Mimics! Monsters to be feared
Spreading ever faster!
…please please please please please tell me not
that MAN made this disaster.

___