- Your weirdly-empty and oddly hieroglyph-less, intimidatingly Cyclopean, Sphinx-guarded enormous energy source masquerading as a burial pyramid in the midst of this World’s strange and pitiless desert…or mine? Or maybe the Lemurians? Who even knows?
- “No WAY! You were ALSO Nikola Tesla in a former life?”
- “No WAY! You were ALSO Pharaoh Khufu in a former life? Were you the one who accidentally appeared to the Olmecs in a circlet of flame and smoke and and started that whole Aztec cannibalism thing?”
- “…better head than Easter Island.”
- “…wetter than Atlantis. You know, afterwards.”
- “I think that the human race really needed to make a 55′-tall statue of someone who looks vaguely like me in order to thank me for sharing with them the secrets of archaeology and income tax.”
- “And then we decided to make them bilaterally symmetrical, just in case any of the nice, normal, tomato-shaped inhabitants of the rest of the Universe ever come and visit. It’ll be HILARIOUS.”
- I’ve got this 30,000-pound block of carefully-dressed stone. Want to have sex on it and then leave it in the middle of the desert to confuse people for the next few thousand years?
- “Why don’t we re-arrange the alphabet, put Alpha and Omega together, blow up this planet, and try again somewhere else?”
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“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― There and Never, Ever Back Again
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