You ought to meet the Chaos Beast;
Of predictable monsters, this one’s the least.
Your sanity’s soon to be cleft;
The Chaos Beast is the one on the left.
I would describe its strange appearance
Except I could barely achieve nearance
The only thing you can predict
Is that whatever you think it is, you’ll feel tricked.
Its many attacks are complicated
To leave you addled and twitterpated
The damn thing’s unpredictability
Mean you can’t guess between clumsiness, and agility.
The Chaos Beast has (x + n)
Where’x’ are legs, and ‘n’ (again)
Is the height of the beast, or maybe Big Ben;
There’s some unpredictability.
The Chaos Beast is quite romantic
But we advise against techniques tantric
Chaos on this high an order
Ought inspire you to run for the nearest border.
What form has the Chaos Beast got?
Easy! Whatever it is not,
Then very soon (assuredly)
That’s the shape that it will be.
Is it made of flesh? Or stone? Or rice?
Whatever it was, it won’t be twice.
Tentacle and slime, discord and rhyme,
Maybe it’s made of nanites. Or liquid essence of Time.
Sometimes we give our brains the thought
That by weirdness we just won’t be caught.
We’re far too serious (I think)
To leap that hill, the Madness brink.
Unless (I guess) (and I suppose),
True Chaos from this strange seed grows:
Anticipation’s the key. What you expect
Will be the form it will neglect.
The Chaos Beast! Discordianly weird!
I’d lend you mine, but it’s disappeared.
Or else (and this is true, as well) –
It’s here and I’m gone.
Who can tell?
_____
“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― There and Never, Ever Back Again
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