Drow
Never say to a Drow, man,
“Don’t have a cow, man,”
Because the Spider Goddess
will web and consume
(spidery digestion/spidery doom)
(be part of the thorax! There’s plenty of room!)
anything she wants,
and how, man.
Grell
I have the sort of heart that pulls
Towards crushes on tentacles.
But if you’re a giant, floating brain,
I’ll abstain.
Beholder
Beauty’s in the eye of the Beholder,
assuming you think it’s pretty
not to get any older.
Grue
There are no such things as Grue.
Hook Horror
You’ve got a hook?
I hope it’s a Captain,
or a boxing punch,
or for fishing,
but not a Horror –
or so I’m wishing.
Storm Giant
Tall as a tower,
and half as compliant,
Ill-tempered tempest:
The Storm Giant.
Red Dragon
No King ever raised a happy flagon
At the appearance of an angry Dragon.
And the Red Ones are the worst:
The smoke would kill you,
if the fire didn’t first.
Lich
Mages for whom Death’s no impediment?
A quest with them’s a fun event, a bit.
It’s easy to find their deadly lair
And forever, forever, forever lie moldering there.
Aboleth
Eels are bad. Electric ones are worse.
And those who can suck out your brain?
…I think they got everyone else first.
Kobold
Kobolds are dangerous. Be watchful, son:
They’re addictive as potato chips.
Bet you can’t slay just one.
_____
“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― There and Never, Ever Back Again
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