7. “Oh, SICK, this thing is GLOWING! When’s it going to explode?”
6. “I have long studied the Wisdom of the Ages, awaiting your cosmic knowledge. So please, Wise One, tell me: What’s Edgar Caycee really like?”
5. “All things are true in some sense, false in some sense, butterscotch ripple in some sense, nonexistent in some sense, and senseless in some sense. In short, can I have some of your ice cream?”
4. “I recognize that you have technology beyond the ability of humans to even begin to hope to grasp, but I’m still impressed at the accuracy of your Tindr picture.”
3. “I can tell that you crossed the Galaxy to hold me in your pseudopods, but only numbers seven through eleventeen, at least on a first date.”
2. “We should have known that you were all Erich von Daniken clones.”
1. “One small step for phrases which have been overused to the point that there’s nothing I can add to them, one giant leap away from the waste of time which was this document. If this isn’t a metaphor for a visit to Earth, we don’t know what is.”
0. “Wait..what do you mean you were hoping WE had the answers?”
___
I write books, but today, I’m just too tired to link to my Amazon.
