On The Virtues of Hobbit-Weed

This somehow managed not to get itself posted on 4/20. I blame Dark Magicks.

___

Like many who follow where the Road might lead,
I come in praise of Hobbit-Weed.
’tis the fire which spurs this deed:
each puff praises Hobbit-Weed.

Now when I speak of each puff’s praise –
The puff does the work. I just laze.
The ember’s path is its own sweet phrase.
Who needs words when you’ve merry blaze?

Now there are those who’ve given grief
(On the morals of Mary Jane blown by a thief)
They hold up notes in heavy sheaf:
Tolkien said Nicotiana leaf.

Well, what if he did? I apologize:
I didn’t know you spoke for the Wise
Just what authority can you devise
To speak on behalf of giant flaming Eyes?

So you’re saying a World lit by two giant trees,
Where were-bears barter honey with bees
Might have unrealistic chemistries
In the pipes of its various imaginaries?

Perhaps. Believe what you think best;
But of Wizards, Gandalf’s subtlest.
In medicinal herb he might invest
To say calm at Orcish ram and arbalest.

Consider. Did Aulë the Smith
Forge the first Dwarves from flint and myth
In order that their kin and kith
Might reap stress of being xenolith?

(This Hobbit-Weed is heavensent
And mellows words of harsh intent.
And many a pleasant day I’ve spent,
Thinking good thoughts, and smoking an Ent).

In a World of Tom Bombadiling,
Where magic’s nature’s oft-concealing
Where Rings of Magic need quick stealing,
Hobbit-Weed puffs peace unreeling.

Now, of the Mirkwood, smoke no part,
If valued are your beats of heart.
Caliginous from first spark of start,
Trollishness does its fume impart.

And Cirith Gorgor, The Black Gate,
Avoid the herbs, at any rate
(Though if you’re hearing this too late
You probably should have guessed it, mate.)

But the remarkable plans of the Shire
When rolled with care and touched by fire
Soothe the brow and ease hot ire
Before tea, and time to retire.

Hobbit-Weed, o Hobbit-Weed
Ember, light! Day, recede.
Sometimes I think all I might need
Is the One Ring,
and Hobbit-Weed.

_

“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― Jeff Mach, There and Never, Ever Back Again

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Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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