The Bloody Bullshot – An Actual Recipe

Some of you might know my general opinion that, in the original Bond novels, there are always at least two major villains: Whoever the book’s alleged villain is, and also James Bond. And I don’t know that Bond would have necessarily disputed this idea; certainly, it’s no spoiler to say that, the single time he’s brainwashed, it’s with the idea that he’s always been a weapon, simply pointed in the wrong direction.

There’s a lesser-known Bond story where, while there’s no grand scheme, everyone seems guilty. (This is not a spoiler; it’s a murder mystery where everyone has motive, and the ‘victim’ is eminently dislikable). It’s the aforementioned jerk who introduced us to the ‘Bullshot’, described as ‘iced vodka in beef consommé’. (…no, we wouldn’t drink that, either.)

Now, I roamed far and wide in researching this book, and was fortunate, with the aid of a kindly birthday gift certificate, to get to Morton’s, The Steakhouse, here in lovely Mordor, New Jersey. There I encountered a bartender who was willing to indulge my wildly insane ideas involving my obsession with Islay single malts and my madness involving obscure culinary ideas.

I give you, then: The Bloody Bullshot!

Concept: Jeff Mach, and The Angry Ghosts of Ian Fleming and Travanian
Creation: Kai Smith, Bartender

1 ½ ounces Laphroaig
3 ounces beef au jus
Dash of lemon juice
2 dashes Worcershire sauce
2 dashes tabasco
Celery salt to taste
Ground pepper to taste
Garnish: Lemon Wedge

Put on flameproof gloves.
Mix everything together in an Adamantium shaker. Or just pour into a glass and stir with a spoon.
Serve warm or chilled, depending on the season and your own personal madness.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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