Puck’s Apology

(I’m fascinated that someone listed the ‘original’ as a ‘monologue for teens. Nevertheless, the text’s not hard to find. You can seek it out at Goodreads, under William Shakespeare.

But this, of course, is the true and actual ending of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. How Jeff Mach came upon this information is unknown, and frankly, we generally assume that we ought not ask.

Some say that Jeff stole the true words from Titania. Some say it was a fair exchange–but we know not what strange currencies were involved. 

Some say simply this:

You never really know what’s going to happen, when you’re dealing with the Puck.)


If we shadows have offended,
Note my knee is yet unbended

Think you have but slumber’d here?
Let that illusion disappear
That’s some weak and idle theme,
Crushed by the force of unpent dream

Gentles, do not reprehend:
That’s breath you’d better elsewhere spend
And, as I am an honest Puck,
If you’re unscathed, know it was luck

Now to ‘scape the serpent’s tongue,
Behold! A Fairyland unsprung
Else the Puck a liar call:
Magic rise, and reason fall.

Give me your hands, if we be friends,
For Villainy comes. Reality bends.

~Jeff Mach (and Puck, of course)


The Dark Lord Jeff Mach frequently seeks new, interesting ways to rewrite this part, and then often ends up just shifting a few words around and hitting “Publish”. Don’t tell anyone.

Jeff is a writer and creator who has long aspired to be the sort of person who neither needs to promote his other work at the bottom of his short stories, nor need speak of himself in the third person. Sadly, in both regards, he has failed.

If there isn’t such a thing as Villainpunk, we should invent it.  Click here to find out more about Evil Expo, the Convention for Villains.

If you’d like to read about, and probably not be eaten by, several copies of, my darkly satirical fantasy novel, “There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN,” click here.

To visit my unhappy place, click here.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.