You might also enjoy Pickup Lines For Hobbits.
“If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you accept it as a reasonable reason for me to have broken into your tomb so that I could prove it to you? Apologies if I left some of my bones in your casket; the lid was heavy.”
“You just took my breath away! And since I haven’t breathed for over three centuries, that’s IMPRESSIVE.”
“My Tomb is full of Horrors, but the bedroom has a mirror on the ceiling and room service, is all I’m saying.”
“If I hadn’t been re-animated and thrust helplessly into the eternal battle between Light and Dark as a hideous unliving mockery of my former self, I would totally buy you a drink.”
“Erase the words on my forehead which animate my sick, sad, corpselike parody of an unliving thing if I’m wrong, but aren’t Dragons fond of giving away gold and sticking their heads into large bodies of water just as they’re about to breathe flame?”
“BRAAAINS. BRAAAAAINS. Get coffee sometime? BRAAAAAAAAAINS.”
“So if you’re here, who’s busy stoking the endless fires of the infinite iron furnaces of the Seventh Layer of the Seventh Level Of Flame of the Seventh Utmost Hell?”
“Was your parent a Thief? Because you picked the lock on my heart, stole all the gold within, and traded it for six ounces of brass caltrops and a really sharp dart.”
“If we could escape from the Necromancer’s vast fortress, I would definitely take you on a lovely picnic where I’d win you over with my marinated flesh-of-the-living and my secret recipe for asparagus sauce.”
“Your eyes are like the Ocean: mysterious, dark, and full of fossilized reanimated sharks.”
“Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I die again and rise slowly from my accursed grave a second time?”
“You know, when the Daemon-King Bajoombah thrust a stolen soul between the brittle ribcage of your ancient skeleton and bade you join his deathless army to slaughter the living, he was really showing off, because you’re kinda hot, in an ‘I’m hoping to set you on fire’ kinda way.”
“If I were a cat, I’d spend 8 lives on you, and all of my undeath on you, and just spend the one remaining life trying to get rid of this ghostly hairball.”
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