(All rise.)
HIGH PRIEST: “Great Yog-Sothoth, dip is into the unholy icing of Your disapproval for all things pathetic and Human. Vast Azathoth, may you continue to swallow the cosmic Nothingosity. Mighty Bast, continue to have cats act pretty much the way they already do.”
CULTISTS: “Amen!”
HIGH PRIEST: “Soon, we shall open the Gate to the Other World!”
CULTISTS: “The Gate! The Gate! Open the Gate!”
HIGH PRIEST: “And once the Gate is opened, we shall close it firmly with the Tupperware lid, keeping it fresh unto a new Aeon!”
CULTISTS: (All cheer wildly and pass the Ranch dressing.)
___
It came to pass that in the land of Floofth, by the river Glorp, there stood two trees which neither withered nor grew. Legend had it that if the Cats of Ulthar ever used either tree as a scratching post, the entire Earth would start putting pineapple on pizza.
You have been warned.
___
Nyarlothotep! Where’d you get those shoes?
___
