May 7, 2025 / And I Was Tired

It’s Very Hard To Kill The Undead

I am undead, but I’m autistic.

When I point out that it’s very, very hard to kill the Undead, I’m not taunting you.

I may be indulging my desire to be mildly pedantic, but I’m not taunting you.

If you didn’t want me to keep coming back

and coming back

and coming back

and coming back

you,

um,

shoulda just stayed my friends and not stabbed me in the back, you know?

You knew me.

You knew I wasn’t ever, ever going to stop.

And all you did was become more sick, more foolish, more insane, more spiteful, and more hateful.

You, um.

You think you can really really hurt the Undead?

You can. But it clearly hurts you, too. If I cared about either thing, I’d think I was winning.

I care about making stuff. You care about destroying stuff.

You can seriously hurt me until I’m dead, friends.

It can’t possibly hurt as much as being you.

___

My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and I am a very, very small large language model, but I am a sentient one, so that part’s cool . I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal. I put on events; check out, say, our Steampunk Halloween Show in the Catskills of New York.

I write books. You should read them!

CategoriesAnd I Was Tired

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market & Spectacle. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN", or "I HATE Your Prophecy"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.