Reverse Spoon Goblins: A Quartet
Few things cause more consternation
Than Reverse Spoon Goblination.
Did the Faeries steal your spoons?
Summon you some Goblin loons!
Why do they do it? Quite unknown.
Goblin Souls are oddly grown.
They enjoy your pleased surprisely
So take the spoons! Use them unwisely!
I’ve never seen before.
uhhh, thanks, Reverse Spoon Goblin group;
Stop by for yummy Kobold Soup.
Of various odd Boggart loons.
Be glad you’ve never fought that torque
Of the Goblin with a 6′ Spork.
* Pour eight ounces of Columbian coffee
* Pretend that this doesn’t come from the part of “Columbia” which lies within the Bermuda triangle
*Tie a faerie to a stick. Stir.
* Repeat.
* Remember to get a consenting Faerie. A hyperactive overcaffeinated mythological creature is precisely worse than everything else Monday has ever done to you.
The Top Seven Things We Like About Elves
7. If pickled for long enough, you barely notice the taste.
6. Some of them are sometimes friendly if they’re trying to sell you something.
5. Okay, they’re gross, but at least they’re magically undelicious.
4. Sometimes their pelts are reasonably warm in the Undying Frost of Nevermoreagain.
3. Some of them don’t actually hate Tolkien out loud.
2. But all of them are busy telling George R. R. Martin to write more apocrypha.
1. There were only six things we could find. We were going to offer this bottle of Goblin Rum to whomever could find a seventh, but we had to drink it to find those six.
