Dungeon Doggerel For October

Kobolds are spookier than you think.
I was going to write more, but I forgot to drink.

* * *

“Strong Orc” and “Long Pork” make a convenient rhyme.
But always cook your Greens for extra time.

* * *

Goblin, Goblin, burning bright
In the jungles of the night
What furnace-soul have you been stoking?
YOU’RE ON FIRE, IDIOT. YOUR WHOLE BODY’S SMOKING.

* * *

Teenagers Froghemothic
Sneak out at night to dark clubs Gothic
And while their parents gather in horrorsome droves
They hang out by the side door, smoking cloves.

* * *

Three Dates With Three Classic Monsters

Never, ever date a Boggle
If your vibrator has an ‘Off’ toggle.

When you’ve been ghosted by a Skulk,
You feel like you’ve been ghosted in bulk.

If you ever date a Lamia,
I recommend lifelong insomnia.

* * *

____

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Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He'd love for you to check out patreon.com/jeffmach for his favorite work (it's almost all free!) He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market and The Big Dark Lord Dwarf Novel. You can get his last novel, "I HATE YOUR Prophecy", or his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books of shortt fiction. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on X or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.