Then there was that day when the UFOlogists
Met in the same place and time as the cryptozoologists
Skip the psychoanalysts
Hide your head, and freeze:
Mothman and the Lizard-People
(Of course they both exist, you sheeple!)
Were last seen in that old church steeple
Exchanging cornbread recipes.
The mighty Beast of Exmoor
Was playing a vicious game of “Connect 4”
Whist the terrifying Yowie
Was playing “Doctor” and fixing an owie.
A gaggle of ancient astronauts
Were writing a check with a ton of naughts
To the Loch Ness Monster (whose sashimi
Is absolutely beyond dreamy.)
The Minhocão’s helping The Beasts That Time Forgot
Have worms for 500 Tequila shots
Meanwhile, the ubiquitous Greys
Have started a rave that might last for days.
Why be surprised? By break of day
They’ll all of have melted discretely away
Why spend the night arguing? Rather a waste
When, at sunrise, they’ll all be displaced.
It’s sappy, it’s simple, but it’s nonetheless true:
If you’re going to eat others, start
with those less weird than you.
____
“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”
― There and Never, Ever Back Again
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