Assorted Lesser-Known Fountains

We are all familiar with the Fountain of Youth, which, of course, was found by Ponce De Leon and made everyone immortal until the Ancient Aliens took it over. But how many of us know some of the lesser-known fountains, spas, and other pools of water with important, longterm magical conseuences?

The Fountain of Mild Inconvenience

If you drink from this Fountain, then forever, as long as you shall live (which is not forever, but may seem like a very long time) you will inevitably be…

…really inconvenienced.

By everything.

Will things be more inconvenient, or will you simply experience it more deeply?

Both. Definitely, both.

The Puddle of Plenty

Sure, it’s a stagnant pool of water which has lain there for centuries as the magic slowly dripped into it. It’s almost certainly drinkable. If you drink from this, you will have a life of plenty and abundance!

But you will also have whatever the consequences of whatever ELSE is in the puddle. And the magic really makes it difficult to see what’s actually inside the liquid. It COULD be nothing. It COULD be healthy fluoride

It COULD be something else.

Those Fumaroles Of Intoxication

A fumarole is a festering volcanic pipe from the black hole in the center of the Earth directly to you.

Some of them also hit you like Everclear.

If you’re found naked in Florida clinging to the underside of a mythical tree, you’ve either found these fumaroles, or it’s the 90s and you’re on Florida College Students Go Wild.

As James Bond said,

“FWOOOOOSHHHHH”.

THE DRIP-DRY DRY CLEANERS OF VILLAINY

We can’t tell you about it. It’s too villainous.

THE DEATH-HOLES OF DRINKAGE

Glurk, Glurk. Glurk.

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Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He'd love for you to check out patreon.com/jeffmach for his favorite work (it's almost all free!) He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market and The Big Dark Lord Dwarf Novel. You can get his last novel, "I HATE YOUR Prophecy", or his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books of shortt fiction. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on X or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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