..but Elf-sugar is so very marvelous.
Sentient flesh is often sweeter, but not everyone is delicious. So if an Elf is nice to you, he either likes you, or thinks you’re delicious.
See if he bakes you a cake. Or two.
Elves tell you that many generations ago, they chose the forces of light.
Of course they did.
They taste SO MUCH better.
There is clearly some sort of universal morality: kindness, helping others, putting the good of others above yourself.,,this is all selfish and makes you taste terrible.
There are so few Vampires and so many of you; why not have some courtesy towards those who are just a little different? Just to give an example?
Leading the Elves of the World to ask: “Why are you so terrible”?
The Elves spend their long lives assigning truth and kindness to mankind so Fresh Loin of Large Warrior doesn’t taste like Angry Mattress With Gravy,,,to no success.
The Elves are patient. The prophecy says that the Chosen One will emerge some day and actually taste good, and so will his kids, if he lives to have any.
So the Elves battle the Dark Lord and the forces of Evil
Because THEY have decent taste.
We know we spend a lot of time mentioning that Elves are misrepresented, but, in our defense, it’s all pretty true.
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