Fried Human Tastes Great

Of the top hundred things I’ll never say,
Because it might sounds a little dark
But I’ll tell you from experience.
I’m taking the delicious ones if I make an Ark.

Now, you can’t be a vegan and a cannibal
And you can take advantage of no animal,
But Dragons are fully sentient.
So they can choose to be eaten
(I think that’s what they meant.)

If you know our other tales of this,
You’re unsurprised as a cat with a kiss
We won’t talk about eating Dragon
(Or, for that matter, Dagon.)

But (for reasons which began, and have remained
Permanently Unexplained,
A Human might have, just possibly
Have fallen into the deep fryer next to me.

And I—the hubristic fool
Might have taken a few bites (but not like a ghoul!)
(Ghouls are dead and pray on those who live.
Deep-friend corpses simply have yummy body parts to give.

Anyway, here’s my secret. Although….I suppose
It’s something everybody knows
Since, while my back was turned
The corpse was thrown on the fire and burned.

So I have no idea how you found out humans are delectable
And if you’re VERY good…the ears are collectible.

_______________

Follow-up to: Fried Dragon Tastes Terrible

I suppose it’s also a followup to The Villainpunk Cookbook.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He'd love for you to check out patreon.com/jeffmach for his favorite work (it's almost all free!) He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market and The Big Dark Lord Dwarf Novel. You can get his last novel, "I HATE YOUR Prophecy", or his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books of shortt fiction. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on X or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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