Two Lovecraft quotes for you:
“…the boundless daemon-sultan Azathoth, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time amidst the muffled, maddening beating of vile drums and the thin, monotonous whine of accursed flutes; to which detestable pounding and piping dance slowly, awkwardly, and absurdly the gigantic Ultimate Gods, the blind, voiceless, dark idiot gods whose soul is Azathoth.”
-(From The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, 1926)
“Everyone listened, and everyone was listening still when It lumbered slobberingly into sight and gropingly squeezed Its gelatinous green immensity through the black doorway into the tainted outside air of that poison city of madness. The Thing cannot be described—there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order. A mountain walked or stumbled.
~(From The Call of Cthulhu, 1928)
1. Does Azathoth smell nice?
Oh, heck, yes. I mean, we know Lovecraft. If there was something about Azathoth’s smell for us to note, he’d have made sure we noted it both before AND after the pipes drove us mad, if he was really on point.
2. Does senpai Cthulhu notice me?
No. Somehow…NO! Why not? You’re perfect. If only he would. If only. But no, this affair would be too tragic.
3. Do the flopping dancers have a nice smile?
Two of them. Each.
4. Will Cthulhu just chew on me and spit me out once I am dead, or is there a slight chance I go through his ingestive tract semi-conscious? (Yuck)
While consumption by Cthulhu is both a physical and spiritual practice, which is in a sense both the sort of eternal hypothesized by some religions regarding the hurt of the soul, and also something like being hooked into one of those cyberpunk machines which simply triggers all the pain receptors in your body in a physical kind of way, you are devoured and become Part of the greater being. You will not be leaving in any format.
5. Is eternal madness by Azathoth actually a bit of a commitment?
Oh, you have no idea.
But you will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You will.
You… you begin to get the idea?
6. If the flutes keep piping, how long until I start dancing awkwardly and absurdly?
That’s sort of the beauty of it. To be honest, there’s no false binary here. Regardless of which you choose, you can dance…if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. Because your friends won’t dance, and if they won’t dance then…they’re no friends of mine.
7. Does the blind idiot god Azathoth have any hobbies besides gnawing hungrily in inconceivable chambers?
8. Would Great Cthulhu rather be ravening for delight or just napping in R’lyeh again?
9. If I leave a footprint of peace in front of Cthulhu’s black doorway, will he appreciate it or just squeeze his gelatinous green immensity over it?
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