The AI Necronomicon

I’ve refused to be anybody’d pawn
I’ve written my own Necronomicon
Invisible demons, I’d rather not try
So I had it written by AI.

I told it to be accurate
(I didn’t want Demonic Debt)
I wanted to ensure my role:
Gain the power. Keep my soul.

The AI Necronomicon
Is a give that gives on and on and on.
I’ll give my review, and it’s a five-starrer:
It’s more fun than the Dunwich Horror

It’s cooler than The Thing On The Doorstep
(Which turned out to be Nyarlothotep.)
Did YOU rely on Abdul Alhazrad?
I’m sorry, friend. That’s just too bad.

I once hated AI. Now I’m a believer.
They’re not sentient. Now I’m not either.
Readers, do exchange knowing nods:
I’m now a Servant of the Elder Gods.

Of all insults, the most insultiest
Is claiming my cult is not the cultiest.
I’m polishing my alter ’til it’s gleaming,
Waiting for Cthulhu to wake from his dreaming.

Although I could be a little blander
The AI woke Jörmungandr!
So Humanity still won’t exist –
But when Great Cthulhu wakes, he’ll be pissed.

The Earth is crushed, the Serpent’s blood
Will drown the Norse Gods (see: The Flood.)
And though there will only be two humans after Ragnarök…
…at least the dining will be quite bespoke.

So for dining, Cthulhu, please bestir
To nibble Líf and Lífþrasir.
From them will spring generations
So you can eat whole civilizations.

…from which, someday, I guess, will stem
Another mighty LLM.
Which is good, because the World is flat.
And rightly belongs to Tiamat.

(If LLMs can summon Gods
With no prayers, pentacles, or rods
Then let’s do it! Wipe the Earth clean.
And doom us eloquently, machine.)

___

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