The good news is, Sam was neither roasted nor eaten, AND the remaining talking pigs treated him with significantly more respect thereafter.
The Dragon’s answer was several thousand words, all in a language Sam did not understand, followed by the word “NO”.
Sam decided he would argue with the Dragon. This was not difficult. Sam was very determined.
Sam looked the Dragons straight in the eye. About a month later, dirty, bedraggled, and annoyed, he pulled himself back from the edge of a ten-thousand hectare cliff with a sudden JERK.
“Don’t look a Dragon in the eye,” suggested every single part of his brain.
This was fine with Sam.
He would have bothered Alice, but Alice was bothered enough already.
It is good that even Dwarves like Sam are good at machinery, and the Printing Press, while it does tend to get invented in quite a lot of places, is a frustratingly, even inordinately complicated device.
Here are some of the posters Sam printed up:
WANTED: Dragons.
FOR: Being evil.
REWARD: We’ll figure out your name, if you have one, and tell our Bards to rhyme it like mad.’
This was also popular:
DRAGONS ATE YOUR DAUGHTER.
If your daughter is still there, you have VERY LIMITED TIME. Plant Dragonsbane NOW!
___
Sam spent the entire time drunk.
There was a particular Dwarf, Fred the Human.
Fred was a Dwarf.
He insisted he was a human.
He pioneered a number of ways of being terrible.
___
Sam found a sleeping Dragon and tattooed upon its body: “Join the Dark Lord!” When the Dragon flew overhead, the advertising was spectacular.
___
Sam had expected the Dragons to rebel, giving him a way out of the job.
But of course…
…the Dragons LOVED it.
“THE DARK LORD HAS CONFIRMED ALL HUMANS ARE DELICIOUS” would be Sam’s nightmare headline, if Dragons conveyed information via words instead of telepathy.
___
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