Cedric the Knight went forth to fight the Dragon and rescue the Princess.
The Princess made a noise which we are far too refined to recount here. “Oh, my Gods, Gods of Sun and Dark and Vengeance and Beauty, LEAVE!” she cried.
“But I’m here to rescue you,” Cedric objected.
“I have to MARRY the man who rescues me,” she responded.
“…and?” Cedric prompted?
“You are GROSS. Have you seen Sir Lichtenstein, or Sir Reisling? They’re hunks.”
Cedric sighed and sheathed his sword, which was a good five feet long.
“Very well,” he said.
The other Knights rescued prettier Princesses.
The Princess was eaten.
So it goes.
___
Once, there was a Dragon who took up good deeds instead of capturing Princesses and stealing treasure.
While he had been doing the former for over a thousand years…nobody really objected. They kept sending armies towards him; he flew over them and burnt them to a crisp; the end.
But once he started doing good deeds, he was in competition with the local Temple.
Within a week, he was declared Anathema.
Within a month, the Holy Books now had some suspiciously-new writing about the villainousness of Dragons.
There are no Dragons today.
Are you surprised?
___
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