All right, fine, HAVE SOME ELF PICKUP LINES. As usual, no AI, all discredit goes to me.
Yes, “Pickup Lines for Elves” is a followup to Pickup Lines For Dwarves.
“That is an absolutely stellar dress. I was going to try to talk you out of it, but now that I’m closer to it, I simply want to know where you acquired it. What did it cost? Can you tell me a bit about the fitting process?”
“If I told you that you were nearly as lovely as I am, in a good light, would you forgive the white lie because I’m only saying it because I find you relatively attractive, for what you are?”
“Were you to buy me a drink, a very nice drink, but a drink, there is entirely a possibility that I might let you play with my extraordinary flowing locks, a few hours from now, when I have finished playing with them.”
“It is perilous to study too deeply the arts of the Enemy, for good or for ill; indeed, surely, this is true, but nevertheless, I do note that you possess an extraordinary amount of rope and a VERY shiny leather jerkin.”
“I shall offer thee eternal devotion. To yourself. I shall buy you the finest mirror and let you gaze in it all the time; none can be lovelier than you, and I have little else to offer. May I steal your drink? It should be easy for you to get another one.”
“There is a certain light within us all, which radiates outwards from the soul to the spirit and fulfills each and every one of us in its Light; but this evening, I’m mostly after a good time, how about you?”
“Some say that the Dragons are the most powerful lovers in the Sixth World. Certain Elves disagree with that belief in the strongest, most violent terms.”
“I will assuredly Palantir you in the morning.”
“Neither rock, nor steel, nor the fires of Morgoth, nor all the powers of the Elf-kingdoms, shall keep from me from bringing thee this glass of house Pinot Grigio.”
“I will tell you right now, you play your cards right, you could touch my bow by date six. If the sex is good.”
“Is that Glaurung the Dragon, the mirror of Túrin’s ruin, in your jerkin, or are you just happy to see me?”
[…] See also: A Collection Of Dwarf Humor – For Research Purposes, Of Course or, perhaps, Pickup Lines For Hobbits. Or even Pickup Lines for Elves, […]