Front Matter For Another Book That’s Way More Interesting Than This One.

FORWARD:

“For a long time now, I’ve been aware that, like, I’m all right, but, like, the World is square.”

-Shel Silverstein

I. PROLOGUE. In which the Author explains that this is a Great Book, that it is a Book for the Ages, that the Author suffered for 80 years while writing this book but hopes that you enjoy his sophomore effort, published when he was only 17 years old. The Author keeps writing, but you’ve probably tuned it out by now. We sure have.

II. DEDICATION:

This book is dedicated to all the authors who were wise enough to dedicate their books to me, and dedicated AGAINST every other author in the entire world.

III. INTRODUCTION

This book was written during the years 1587 to 1843, when I was an itinerant fisherman on a very small bridge over a nonexistent river in Sheboygan, Michigan I trust I don’t have to explain further.

IV. EPIGRAM:

“In wine is wisdom,
in Everclear is efficiency.”

PUBLISHER’S NOTE:

We don’t take any responsibility for this trash, although tips are appreciated.

 


My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.

I write books. You should read them!

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market & Spectacle. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN", or "I HATE Your Prophecy"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.