The Hydra has four mighty legs,
And gives a mighty bark;
Goddammit, that’s a doggie;
I get the two confused.
The Hydra has eight horrifying arms
And wraps them around you like a spider
Spiders don’t have arms
They have legs.
Dammit.
The Hydra is made of water;
That’s why it’s called “hydra”, for hydration.
Some people are afraid of the Hydra because its gaze will turn you to stone. They’re smart, but they don’t realize: their gaze actually turns you to DOUBLE stone. It would be extra bad, if you could notice.
The Hydra has three heads
Each of which, if burned
Might not regenerate entirely
(Or so we all have learned.)
(But all of that is just a lie
By the powerful Hydra Industry
If you cut off one of their heads,
They’ll sue and destroy you,
100% legally.)
The Hydra comes out
each October 31st,
determined to turn each human
into stone
just for the Hell of it.
But after eight to ten statues,
the Hydra gets awfully tired,
and begins enjoying the candy.
But at least the rest of you are safe until the Hydra emerges
from her lair
in search of Christmas presents.
___
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