The Right Writing Environment

Things I promise not to invite me over to your place with your boyfriend.

(a) Hit on you.
(B) Hit on your boyfriend.
(C) Hit on your cat. I cannot, however, stop Thisbe from hitting on me.

Things I will bring with me if I visit your place:

(A) A clipboard on which to write.
(B) Story ideas with which to inspire us.
(C) Absolutely NO catnip.

Things I will do if I visit:

(A) Drink.
(B) Write.
(C) Write on the cat while drinking.

Things I will not do when I visit:

(A) Spontaneously learn Turkish.
(B) Make a superabundance of jokes about your boyfriend, the coder.
(C) Write on the cat in permanent marker.

Things I will do when I leave:

(A) Accept awkward hugs.
(B) Give doubly-awkward hugs.
(C) Find out, too late, that your cat has shed all over my coat and eaten my clipboard.

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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