Things I promise not to invite me over to your place with your boyfriend.
(a) Hit on you.
(B) Hit on your boyfriend.
(C) Hit on your cat. I cannot, however, stop Thisbe from hitting on me.
Things I will bring with me if I visit your place:
(A) A clipboard on which to write.
(B) Story ideas with which to inspire us.
(C) Absolutely NO catnip.
Things I will do if I visit:
(C) Write on the cat while drinking.
Things I will not do when I visit:
(A) Spontaneously learn Turkish.
(B) Make a superabundance of jokes about your boyfriend, the coder.
(C) Write on the cat in permanent marker.
Things I will do when I leave:
(A) Accept awkward hugs.
(B) Give doubly-awkward hugs.
(C) Find out, too late, that your cat has shed all over my coat and eaten my clipboard.