Once upon a time, there was a Storyteller who ran out of everything.
Well, not everything, perhaps, exactly, precisely. But close enough.
He ran, specifically, out of Villains.
Sure, it was quite predictable. Didn’t stop him, though. It was obvious, in retrospect, that his most colourful, his most interesting, his most engaging characters would not stand for being defeated almost every single time, while a bunch of nitwit Heroes beat then to bits, or, even worse, some young, pure, generally stupid and terribly lucky young idiot tended to foil every plan they made; why WOULD they stick around?
It’s not like the Kingdom (or Kingdoms, or Empires, or Assortments of Insufficiently Cantankerous Island Cirty-States Run By Shark-People, were going to miss them. Indeed, they were hated, feared, and seldom invited to the best brunches.
So they left.
And there was no story.
The en–
Hm?
“No story”, as in, “no story”, as in, “nothing to see here, I suggest you look away.”
Don’t look any closer at how the Villagers became strangely unmotivated. How they stopped singing as they worked (remember that singing during one’s work is not simply a conceit of the musical theatre, but a time-honored tradition for making the workday go faster, much like coffee breaks or heroin) and began to trudge more often. There’s nothing as demotivating as having your Villains give up on you.
The total lack of story was only the beginning of their punishment, but I recommend not otherwise looking too closely. No story, story over, look away. You don’t want to know what happens next.
Besides, didn’t your society recently drive out all of its Villains? I heard you’ve become ever so moral and appropriate and just terribly, excellently Good.
After all of human history, this is the moment when we’ve finally figured everything out. We know what’s Good, we know what’s Bad, and we’re going to tell you!
You get to experience the many joys thereof for yourself, you lucky, lucky thing.
And we’ll all live happily ever after and LIKE it, okay, bucko?
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and make stories come into being. I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal.
I write books. You should read them!
