The Revenge Of Silly Little Fantasy Tropes

Fate of the Dark Lord, Version I

How we love The Chosen One
Each one believing she’ll get the job done,
Each led by a Wizard White;
Each one earnest, and not too bright.
How we love someone whose prize
Will be achieved when Yours Truly dies.

__

Behold the Ancient Prophecy!
Which predicts, most obnoxiously
That at the demise of mine and me
All others will live happily.

____

Dark Lord? Dark Lord? Gods, I am bored
Why can’t he vanish of his own accord?
He started talking, and the rest of us snored
Boring, boring, bore, Dark Lord!

___

Quest For The Enchanted Club

Enchanted swords? Surely you jest.
Of enchanted weapons, clubs are best.
It won’t suck out your opponent’s soul,
Nor in their chest leave a giant hole,

But when its magic starts to crackle
It’s even more useful than spackle
For should its sorcery cease to work,
You can still head-crack the opposing jerk.

___

If you’re up for a little mischief,
Why not date a Kender?
Better yet, in my experience,
Just hit it with your fender.

___

Is defeating a Dragon difficult
or painful?
I don’t know.

All I needed was patience
and a spray bottle
the size
of Idaho.

____

Check out my books – I recommend “I HATE Your Prophecy” – on Amazon.

 

Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. He's currently working on the Great Catskills Halloween Vendor Market & Spectacle. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN", or "I HATE Your Prophecy"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

Comments are closed.