That Hobbit, On Dragons

HOBBIT (very drunk):

And from there, you can guess the sordid details
A series of cascading fails.
The Dragon killed everyone but the Princess
Who wisely buggered off, I guess.

The starving guards, in turn,
Got the pound of Dragon flesh they earned.
Charred corpses of man, and scales well-gnawed
Spare the catapult, and spoil the rod.

The humans died. But they were quite nutritious.
Dragons fried them where they lay—no need even for dishes.
The guards mounted a last attack,
Bravely stabbing at the back.

The treasure disappeared – are you surprised?
Such perfidy! Damn their eyes.
Now they’re all dead, and in Heaven rejoined
And me? I have a lifetime coined.
And some really nice jeweled goblets, plus a very, very good single malt the Grand Vizier kept in a case labelled “Do Not Open Until The Revolution”.

Anyone want a drink?


Jeff Mach Written by:

Jeff Mach is an author, playwright, event creator, and certified Villain. You can always pick up his bestselling first novel, "There and NEVER, EVER BACK AGAIN"—or, indeed, his increasingly large selection of other peculiar books. If you'd like to talk more to Jeff, or if you're simply a Monstrous Creature yourself, stop by @darklordjournal on Twitter, or The Dark Lord Journal on Facebook.

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