HOBBIT (very drunk):
And from there, you can guess the sordid details
A series of cascading fails.
The Dragon killed everyone but the Princess
Who wisely buggered off, I guess.
The starving guards, in turn,
Got the pound of Dragon flesh they earned.
Charred corpses of man, and scales well-gnawed
Spare the catapult, and spoil the rod.
The humans died. But they were quite nutritious.
Dragons fried them where they lay—no need even for dishes.
The guards mounted a last attack,
Bravely stabbing at the back.
The treasure disappeared – are you surprised?
Such perfidy! Damn their eyes.
Now they’re all dead, and in Heaven rejoined
And me? I have a lifetime coined.
And some really nice jeweled goblets, plus a very, very good single malt the Grand Vizier kept in a case labelled “Do Not Open Until The Revolution”.
Anyone want a drink?
[FIN!]