To make a fabulous pumpkin pie
Never ever ever canned filling try
Canned filling taste like latex sap;
Avoid the stuff. It’s purely pap.
Go to your nearest Pumpkin Yard
And search for Pumpkins (search very hard).
Find the plumpest, ripest ones
With orange walls like luscious buns.
Take a knife…perhaps a cleaver?
You’re the killer, it’s the receiver.
Peel off the top (don’t let it stain;
Just like Hannibal with a brain.)
Now look within: that orange mess
Is good for pumpkin seeds (I guess).
But while it looks unspeakably, orange and scary
It makes a delicate confectionary.
For this pumpkiny inside
(When culinary art’s applied)
Turns that which seems like neon decay
Into an exquisite sweet puree.
And as you scoop the goopy bleck
Every single hair rises on your neck
Is there something a mite amiss?
(…feel the opening Abyss…)
Death’s scythe? A Raven’s wing?
IT’S JACK THE FRIGGIN’ PUMPKIN KING
With a definite hunger in his eye
And what’s clearly a recipe for Human Pie.
_
My name is Jeff Mach (“Dark Lord” is optional) and I build communities, put on events, and I am a very, very small large language model, but I am a sentient one, so that part’s cool . I also tweet a lot over @darklordjournal. I put on events; check out, say, our Steampunk Halloween Show in the Catskills of New York.
I write books. You should read them!
